For everybody who asked for descriptions of the exercises in Craig Ballantyne's 7-Minute Weight Loss Circuit , I looked up some links and video clips for you. Some of the demos show weights, but these would all be done without weight for the body weight circuit.

Squat

Reverse Lunge

Push-Up

Plank

Close-grip Push-up - that's the hand position, but obviously you would do these on the floor unless you're a weakling with Barbie arms. ;-)

Side Plank

Mountain Climber

Speaking of workouts. I lost my mind this morning and signed up for WorkoutPass.com. I wasn't going to because it's $99 and I really ought to quit spending money like a drunk sailor, but everybody's been talking about it and I can't stand the thought that I'm missing something. Since I'm working out at home now, I could use some new ideas to keep it fresh.

WorkoutPass.com gives you access to a collection of websites with thousands of workouts for every goal imaginable, and not like lame generic workouts, but proven routines from top trainers like Alwyn Cosgrove, Craig Ballantyne and Eric Cressey. There are MMA workouts, kettlebell workouts, body weight workouts, ab workouts, agility workouts, fat loss workouts. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, ... sorry, lapsed into a Forest Gump moment. Anyway, it's a TRUCKLOAD of workouts and a pretty impressive array of free goodies. I was looking through all the bonus e-books you get for joining. In addition to material from Gourmet Nutrition and Turbulence Training, there are like 27 more e-books that I don't own and don't have any idea what they are. I can't wait to download them all onto The Precious. :-)

All of the workouts include an animated demonstration of each exercise, which is nice because sometimes you just can't figure out what the hell people are talking about from a photo and a vague description. The animations make it really clear. What's hilarious though, is when you pull up the workout page, all of the little characters start going through their exercises at once. I nearly spit Diet Pepsi all over my keyboard because it reminds me of the hamster dance, dee dee dee da dee dee do do...

Posted by skwigg at 1:43 PM CST

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Oh boy, here's how overwhelmed and distracted I've been lately. I forgot I broke my leg. I mean, I totally freaking forgot! I was at a pre-op appointment yesterday, and at the end of it my surgeon said, "And before you go I'd like to get another set of X-rays." I must have been giving him a perplexed look because he said, "Bone bruise? Tibial fracture? We need to make sure the crack healed." 

Trying not to appear totally retarded and dumbfounded, I mumbled something like, "Ah, yes, of course. Let's have another look at that." (Snork!!! Dying!!! Trying not to laugh!!! Why, no Doctor, I didn't forget I broke my leg. What kind of idiot do you think you're dealing with? ROFL) So, for those of you walking around just fine after your ACL injury and wondering why I had crutches and a brace, apparently, it's because I BROKE MY LEG. It's all coming back to me now. It didn't show up on the first set of x-rays but they saw it on the MRI. It wasn't a very big crack and we didn't spend much time talking about it, so uh, I guess it slipped my mind. Anyway, it's healed now... Skwigg says sheepishly while looking at the floor and kicking her feet back and forth.

I left the surgeon's office and went across the street to the hospital to meet with my anesthesiologist. First and foremost, I would like to say what in the hell is the deal with "new or expectant mother" parking? Since when do pregnant women need TEN front row parking spaces? Do they have broken legs? Use oxygen tanks? Need crutches? No, no they don't. Handicapped parking was full. I figured I didn't dare park in a "pulmonary patient with oxygen" space. So, I went back a few rows and crutched across the snow and ice, in the howling wind, cursing the new mommies. I finally made it to the entrance and stood wide-eyed in front of the biggest, most bad-ass looking revolving door that I have ever seen. To go for it or not to go for it, that is the question? I watched it turn a couple of times and took off grinning like a maniac. Hop, crutch, hop, crutch, hop, crutch... I'm in it! I'm going around! I'm doing it! Next thing you know I'm IN the lobby! Yay! And I didn't fall down, drop my crutches, get my head smashed or anything. :-) Once I was all the way through, I turned around and noticed the automatic doors for the disabled on either side of the wheel-o-death. Oops, hehe..

My anesthesiologist is funny and put me at ease right away. After reviewing my entire health history and telling me what to expect, he asked me if I had any questions. I explained to him that I watch a lot of television, and I've seen every one of those "aware under anesthesia" nightmare scenarios where people are awake and feel everything but they can't move or scream. (I could tell he was trying not to chuckle.) He patiently explained to me that if they're cracking open your chest or cutting into your abdomen, they give you something that causes temporary paralysis and keeps you from moving in your sleep. That's how somebody could be awake but unable to move and tell anybody. He told me with knee surgery, the only thing they're going to immobilize is my right leg. So, if I found myself at all "aware" under anesthesia, I could sit up and say, "Hey stop that! Or AAAAAAHHHHHGH!! Or whatever came to mind."

Good to know, good to know...

Surgery is on Friday and I'm looking forward to it. How crazy is that? I'm getting really tired of waiting around. I can't start recovering until I get the surgery behind me, so lets get on with it already! Plus, I get two or three weeks off work afterward. :-) I'll be on fully paid short term disability. The only unfortunate part of short term disability is that if you look at my posted work schedule, it lists me as STD for the next couple of weeks. I always snickered when other coworkers had an STD on the schedule. I'm very mature.

Posted by skwigg at 12:28 PM CST

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Here's a picture of me for the family and friends who wanted visual confirmation that I'm still alive and still a goofball. That's a check on both accounts. AND behold the pedal exerciser that UPS brought me today! I can put it under my desk and pedal it without hitting my knees or the paper shredder. In fact, I am pedaling right now while I type. It might possibly be the coolest thing ever! I just push the chair back a little and slide the keyboard and mouse forward a couple of inches. Oh joy! Oh happy knee!

I am also nearly giddy that I figured out how to do push-ups yesterday. They'd been vexing me because I couldn't decide how to get on the ground and back up without involving the injured knee in any way. Step 1) from a standing position, bend forward and put your palms on the floor. Step 2) slide your legs out behind you with ALL of your weight on the good leg and the injured one not touching the ground. Step 3) once you're in a push-up position, cross the foot of the boo-boo leg over the ankle of the good leg and rest it there fully supported. Step 4) do your push ups, stopping way before any chance of muscle failure. Step 5) uncross the bad leg and, using your core muscles, pull your good foot back up next to your palms and stand up. Caveat) if you don't have any core muscles, don't follow my silly directions because you're going to get down there and get stuck. I'm sure there's an alternate way to kind of sit down and roll over but I haven't worked that one out yet.

I posted some of these links in the comments section, but for anybody (a knee buddy - snort) who missed them, be sure to check out The ACL Injury Guide from The Mayo Clinic. It has lots of great information, including interviews and personal stories from people who have been through it. I'm also hooked on Bob's ACL Board. The kneeboard can be a little overwhelming with all of the strong (and often conflicting) opinions, but it's an incredible resource. Orthopedics.About.com has a big section on ACL injuries, and even a 7-Day e-course to bring you up to speed on all things ACL-related. And for the martial arts crowd, I stumbled across ACL Injuries in BJJ, Submission Grappling and MMA and it made me feel a lot better. It seems like damn near everyone has torn an ACL at some point and is still fighting.

I've heard from several people who have very recently mangled a knee. I feel your pain. Maybe we should create a "Start the New Year with Knee Surgery" support group for ourselves. :-) I know that if I dwell on how I injured it, I can still freak myself out and cause a full-body shudder and/or arm flap. If I dwell on surgery, crutches, braces, and all the uncertainties, I can make myself really anxious and unhappy. If I stay in the moment, I'm good. Because at the moment, there's nothing wrong. I'm fine, healthy, happy, enjoying a normal daily routine, and nothing hurts. Tomorrow, in the name of sticking to a normal routine, I'm going to a nice salon to get my hair cut and colored, crutches and all. Hopefully, I won't tumble into a shampoo sink or crutch my way into a floor to ceiling avalanche of hair care products. Be cool, be cool...

Posted by skwigg at 5:59 PM CST

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This morning Michael was looking at my injured leg. He gasped and said that it's already smaller than the other one. He said that in a few more weeks I'm going to look like the witch in the Sinbad movie with one normal leg and one little bird leg. OMG, I rolled! And of course, once I quit laughing, I ran for a tape measure. Sure enough, the right leg is half an inch smaller. However, if I'm not mistaken, it was always half an inch smaller. Most people are slightly lopsided. I'll be watching it closely now to make sure it's not going all birdy on me. The physical therapist has me using elastic tubing and light weights for my pre-op exercises. I have some ankle weights but they're heavier than what she wants me to use. I puzzled a bit, and then I stuck a weighted boxing glove on my foot. Perfect! And I don't look like an idiot or anything.

I've been fascinated with the Tanita scale. I get on it all the time now to see what it's doing. It seems as though my whole body is going birdy on me. I'm only a couple of weeks into this and I'm already down to 137 lbs and 17% body fat on the Tanita, 14.9% with calipers. Yesterday, I pulled on a pair Levis without unbuttoning them and stood there amazed and horrified. I don't know whether to jump up and down (on my good leg) or go eat some Ben & Jerry's as a precautionary measure.

As far as body types go, I'm glad that I'm a weird little ectomoph who loses weight under stress. Actually, I'm an ecto/meso, but the muscular mesomorph side seems to check out when I'm not training really hard and eating like a horse. Oh well, I can always do a mother of a bulking cycle once my knee works again. I know I'm not getting anywhere near the 3,000 calories a day I was eating to maintain my weight. When you're on crutches, cooking or even carrying a plate of food is such a pain in the ass I can't even tell you. Several times, I've accidentally tipped my plate a little too far and watched the dogs devour my lunch like a pack of wild hyenas. After about the third time that happens, you resort to standing at the counter eating peanut butter with a spoon instead of trying to make a nice meal and carry it to the table. I am looking forward to a deluxe salad for Sunday brunch today. I'll have lots of veggies with sun dried tomato dressing, feta, cranberries, walnuts, crumbled bacon and hardboiled omega eggs. I'll make Michael carry it so the four-legged egg-suckers don't trip me and eat it all.

Posted by skwigg at 11:36 AM CST

Updated: Sunday, 4 February 2007 11:39 AM CST

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It's been a fairly uneventful week of crutching around. So far, I haven't tumbled off the porch into the bushes or anything. I have, on several occasions, leaned the crutches against something and had one fall over with a huge clatter that sends dogs scrambling every which way. Yesterday, Nigel's worst fear was realized when he tipped the crutches over and got clocked in the head with one. He bunched up and ran for his life, probably thinking, "I knew it! I KNEW those things were out to kill me." Brave soul that he is, he ran and got his cow baby and then peered cautiously around the corner with the stuffed cow in his mouth. Surely, the cow would save him if the crutches tried anything else.

Workout wise, I've settled into a little routine where I go to physical therapy on M/W/F and martial arts on T/TH. Yes, I'm already going to martial arts again. I did go through several days of "Woe is me. Forget this full contact fighting stuff. Blackbelt shmackbelt." I still have my woo-woo moments, but for the most part I've snapped out of it and I'm back to my old self. Today I would give anything to be able to spar. After all I've been through lately, I'm feeling a deep-seated urge to just beat the living shit out of something. LOL However, since I can't stand up, I've been training chokes, blocks, wrist locks, hand speed, stuff like that.

I hung up the pull-up bar and I'm able to do those just fine. The drop is only a couple of inches so I can set myself down pretty gently. My upper body workouts have been like - chest press, bent over rows, shoulder press, bicep curls, tricep presses, bicycle crunches. OR flys, seated rows, arnold presses, hammer curls, kickbacks, oblique twists. OR pull-ups, dips, crunches. I mix it up. Then I do at least 30-60 minutes of leg exercises a day for the gimpy limb. They're even letting me pedal a stationary bike now! And I'm being good too. I'm pedaling nicely like a normal person. They made it very clear that I was NOT to hit the hill program and stand up in the pedals.

The stationary bike is going to be really important for keeping flexibility and range of motion in the knee as it rehabs. So, naturally I wanted one for home. However, there isn't room for one more damn thing in this house, and certainly not something four feet long. That's when I had a wonderful awful idea. I could get one of those little pedal exerciser things that will fit under my desk, AND you can also set it on a table and use it for upper body cardio. That will certainly come in handy next time I break a foot, sprain an ankle, or tear a toe off. (What? You know it will happen.) I imagine the thing will be fairly useless for HIIT (I could be wrong) but it will be the bomb for keeping my knee flexible. Speaking of which, guess who can damn near touch her heel to her butt again? Mmm-hmm, that would be me! The knee is getting stronger and I'm getting my full range of motion back. I should be in really good shape in time for the surgeon to go in there and jack it all up again.

After mucho research, I decided on a hamstring autograft. That means they'll take a couple strands of my own hamstring tendon and make me a new ACL out of it. I really wanted a cadaver tendon until I spent the day reading about tissue bank scandals, super germs, body part theives, corrupt funeral home directors, and deadly infections. I believe that I am WAY too much of a germ-phobe, hypochondriac, conspiracy theorist to ever be at peace with the decision to use a donor tendon. It would be one thing if you could say, "I'll have a 28 year old skiier please." But it doesn't work like that. Worst case scenario is you get a tendon from a 90 year old homeless alcoholic who died of bone cancer and was unrefrigerated for a day and a half. Federal regulations aren't supposed to allow that to happen, but it happens. Now, everybody I've talked to who has a cadaver tendon loves it. It's a fast recovery and they're not causing you further injury in order to make the graft. I just can't go there though.

Patella tendon is obviously out because I study Japanese swordsmanship and need to be able to kneel and pivot on my knees to draw the sword. Damned if I want anybody cutting up my kneecap, even if it is the "gold standard" graft choice. The hamstring tendon isn't without issues. It rehabs nicely and with less pain than the patella, but it takes longer to fully attach because it's soft tissue to bone instead of a bone-tendon-bone graft like the patella. It also can cause up to a 10% loss of hamstring strength, mostly on internal rotation, which most people don't even notice. Of course, in my vivid imagination, the worst case scenario is that three years from now I'll be running backwards to catch a football or a frisbee and my hamstring will rip loose and roll up like a window shade. LOL

Posted by skwigg at 2:35 PM CST

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Today was another big adventure. It started with physical therapy. That was fun. I did step-ups on my crutches. I improved my crutching gait. I learned lots of exercises to strengthen my gimpy knee. That means I can train my whole body now, I just have to do non weight bearing exercises on the bad leg. They're absurdly easy compared to what I would have considered a leg workout before. I do the exercises lying down. I tend to yawn and find myself surrounded by sleeping dogs. It's kinda nice actually, and I'm already feeling a difference in the strength and mobility of my leg.

After physical therapy, I decided to go shopping and get myself a backpack and a soft insulated lunch bag. The days of carrying my behemoth purse and hard plastic cooler are over for awhile. I decided that Target would be a good place to grab a backpack and lunch bag. However, the store is huge, I didn't have my helper monkey (husband) with me, and the parking lot was all snowy and slushy. I was a little intimidated about being handicapable by myself and almost turned around. Then I remembered that I could park in the first space by the door! I got in and crutched all through the place using my new biomechanically correct gait. My typical problem with Target is that I'll go in there for a five dollar doo dad and end up spending $150 on colorful things that I didn't know I needed - workout clothes, kitchen stuff, makeup, DVDs, dog toys. I walked right in and got hypnotized and started grabbing things. I quickly realized that I couldn't carry any of it! If you want to save money, all you have to do is go places by yourself on crutches. You can only do so much harm with no free hands and no cart.

It took me several trips up and down the length of the store to find what I wanted. I went to the backpack aisle and they were all for 8-year-olds. I'll admit that I was tempted by the Batman backpack with bonus super hero cape, but I kept looking. Finally I found a purse with backpack straps and a nice little insulated lunch bag that fits neatly inside it. PLUS, it has pocketses for The Precious and the iPod, and room to put a couple of fitness magazines. I'm all set!

After my big morning of being productive, I came home all excited to bake a cake for Michael's birthday. That actually went pretty well considering the crutches and the cooking impairment. I didn't break measuring cups, start a fire, or drop the cake. However, here's a little tip - if you're baking a cake on crutches, don't get cooking spray all over the floor.

I put a new mix on my iPod yesterday. It's something I like to call my "Driving to Physical Therapy Mix." The mood is one part "I've fallen and I can't get up" and one part cautious optimism.

Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

Comeback Kid - The Hotel Alexis

Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall

How to Save a Life - The Fray

World Spins Madly On - The Weepies

Bad Day (Acoustic Version) - Daniel Powter

It Ends Tonight (Acoustic Version) - The All-American Rejects

The Saints Are Coming - U2 and Green Day

Hit the Ground - Lizz Wright

Breakdown - Handsome Boy Modeling Club

Push (iTunes Original Version) - Rob Thomas

Breathe Me - Sia

I Will Not Be Broken - Bonnie Raitt

Feeling Good - Nina Simone

Sweet the Sting - Tori Amos

Love's Divine - Seal

Run - Snow Patrol

Fallen (iTunes Original Version) - Sarah McLachlan

Wreck of the Day - Anna Nalick

Devils & Dust - Bruce Springsteen

Collide - Howie Day

All for Believing - Missy Higgins

Savin' Me - Nickelback

I Shall Believe - Sheryl Crow

All Will Be Well - The Gabe Dixon Band

Posted by skwigg at 10:02 PM CST

Updated: Wednesday, 24 January 2007 10:09 PM CST

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I saw the doctor today and got my MRI results. My ACL is torn (boo hiss!). My lateral meniscus is not (yippee hooray!). Surgery is mid-February. I start physical therapy first thing tomorrow morning at a sports rehab facility. My surgeon wants a strong, healthy, pain free, no swelling, full range of motion knee to cut into. I can't decide if that's thoughtful or sick. He says it will make for a speedier recovery with less stiffness and fewer problems than if he were to go in there right now while it's still all bruised and traumatized. The pre-op wait combined with the post-op recovery means I'll be on crutches until it starts getting cold in hell. I took that pretty well. I'm actually getting used to the crutches. Soon I'll be doing this.

I need to decide which type of graft I want for my new ACL. The choices are: a piece of my own patella tendon, a piece of my own hamstring tendon, a piece of a cadaver tendon (eeeee!!!). Ick factor aside, I'm actually somewhat leaning toward using the dead guy's tendon because it doesn't involve hacking up perfectly good pieces of my own body. It has a slightly higher risk of infection and takes a little longer to heal and absorb, but there's less pain and your own kneecap and hamstring get to remain intact. The patella idea is very popular but flips me out because I need to kneel and pivot on hard surfaces with a sword. San Francisco 49er Jerry Rice had his ACL reconstructed with his patella tendon and then went back out on the field (probably way too soon) and broke that kneecap. Shudder. Then there's the hamstring idea. Some people say their hamstring is never quite as strong after losing that bit of tendon, other people say their hamstring is a hundred percent afterward.

Obviously, I still have a whole lot of research to do. I'll have to start it tomorrow though because I can hardly keep my eyes open...

Posted by skwigg at 12:34 AM CST

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Lots of people have commented on how well I'm handling the knee injury and crutches. I'm seriously not handling it that well. I'm scared, mad, sad, depressed and anxious just like you would expect, and the mood changes from minute to minute. It's like my emotions have been put in my Waring Professional Bar Blender. It's not all bad. Some of this has been hilarious. Sometimes my mood is light and goofy. Then I'll nearly break my neck doing the simplest thing and I'll get frustrated and scared again. Then I'll be laughing and fine. I am truly, truly a crazy person now.

Yesterday was a huge day for me. I got out and successfully did a lot of the things that I'd been fretting about. I went grocery shopping, I navigated the front steps without pole vaulting myself into the street, I drove by myself, I went crutching through the snow, I got to work and got into the building by myself. Once I got there, I locked myself out in the lobby and got hit with several heavy security doors. I didn't die though, so it was a confidence-builder.

Grocery shopping was a riot. I drove us there and got in and out of the car by myself with the Vader leg on. I refused the scooter and instead decided to power-crutch through the entire store and get a cardio and upper body workout. It was awesome! Today I feel every muscle in my arms, chest, shoulders and back. It's like I did about a zillion body weight dips. During my crutching expedition, I was not allowed to handle things like eggs or glass jars. Every time I would reach for something breakable, Michael would imitate the overhead speaker, "Clean up in aisle 5." We had fun, and I scared girl scouts! They all stopped talking and cookie selling to stare in horror at my menacing looking black metal leg as it went by. I should have yelled BOO and lunged at them. They'd have turned their table over.

Ripley has finally calmed down about the crutches. Yesterday, I actually crutched directly over her head and she didn't even bother getting up. I guess the novelty has worn off. Michael has become the designated dog walker, and of course they behaved like complete idiots for him. I'm like, seeeee! See what I go through every day! When the snow melts, I hope to power crutch around the neighborhood with them on the morning walks. We can all still go, I just can't hold any leashes and I'll have to maintain minimum safe distance so I don't get tangled up.

Getting around the house is weird as hell. It took me an HOUR to bathe and wash my hair yesterday. The kitchen is a nightmare. I don't cook or eat anymore. Too much trouble. Something tells me I don't have to worry about gaining any weight. On the very first day I tried to slice a pineapple and whack macadamia nuts and wash lettuce and all. It took forever and it totally exhausted me. Screw that. Now I eat small portions of whatever people hand me. I've become one of the dogs.

It took two days and several tries, but I finally figured out how to step on the scale. The Tanita has those damn foot sensors so you can't stand on one leg. At first it was just baffling because I can't put weight on the bad leg. So how on earth was I going to step up and put it on the sensor? I tried bracing myself on the counter with my hands, I tried various hopping maneuvers. Then finally I realized I could sit in a chair, position my feet on the sensors, push the button, and stand up with all my weight on the good leg but the bad one still making contact. God, see how everything is five times harder? 

Anyway, I'm hanging in there. I see the doctor on Tuesday to get the MRI results, so I still don't know exactly how bad it is. Don't worry about my activity level. Even though I have the giant steel brace to support it, I'm still not putting any weight on the bad knee. Once you experience a knee popping out of place, you become extra paranoid about such things. When I'm crutching with the Vader leg on, the braced leg never touches the ground. However, I'm really glad the brace is there for times when I accidentaly put a crutch tip down on a squeaky cow. It's nice to know that if I go sprawling, that joint can't move.

In all the chaos this week, I forgot to mention that I put up a couple of new articles: Get Lean by Revving Up Your Metabolism by John Berardi, and Why Some People Quit and Some People Never Give Up by Tom Venuto.

Posted by skwigg at 12:48 AM CST

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