One of Them
I've been doing a lot of online shopping lately. Searching for just the right product, clicking the "buy" button, and watching for the UPS truck is high-quality entertainment for somebody stuck at home all day in their pajamas. I've ordered protein powder, makeup, shoes, purses, guitar parts, office supplies, and little outfits for my Blackberry. From Amazon, I got a book on women's boxing called Without Apology: Girls, Women, and the Desire to Fight, I also bought The Secret (Unabridged, 4-CD Set). So, believe me when I tell you that I get VERY excited when I hear the doorbell.
The only problem is that, by the time I stumble to my feet, grab my crutches, and make it to the door, the UPS man is usually long gone, and he's usually left my presents out in the yard behind a shrubbery or a potted plant. I desperately want to go and get them, but I know I can't possibly make it up the porch steps on crutches with a big box in my hands. Plus, I hear my husband's voice echoing in my head telling me not to do anything stupid while he's at work, you know, like falling off of the porch, blowing out my knee, and landing face first in the thorn bushes. So I wait hours until he comes home and retrieves my goodies for me. Not fun.
Yesterday, I decided that I would be ready. I was dozing on the couch when I heard the truck coming. I sprang into action, grabbed my crutches and hippity-hopped to the front door. I backed up the hounds and put a baby gate in the entryway so they couldn't crowd me at the door. I leaned my crutches against the wall so that I would have both hands free to accept my miraculous treasures. I peered out the window grinning like an expectant idiot. He jumped out of the truck and ran... up my neighbor's sidewalk. It's ok. He's got something for me, I know it. He runs back to the truck. Oh, look! He's scanning something! He's rummaging around. He's opening the back of the truck! It's big! Here he comes! And he took the huge box across the street, jumped in the truck and drove off. SON of a bitch.
See, I'm becoming one of the dogs. The high-points of my day are - eating breakfast, waiting for the mail man, listening for the UPS truck, and squirrel watching out on the deck.
Speaking of dog hounds, people keep asking me how they're doing now that I'm injured and they don't get their big daily walk anymore. They're doing amazing! So much better than I expected. I really feared dog fights, power struggles and aggression problems but there hasn't been a single incident. I think one reason is that they still get a lot of exercise. They run each other ragged in the back yard, and I'll play fetch with Nigel until he collapses. It's not the same structured exercise as a walk, but it tuckers them all out. Then there's the fact that I'm at home, calm assertive leadering them all day. They have to move aside when I come through on crutches, sit before I put the food bowl down, wait as I open the back door, off when I drop my lunch on the floor, quiet when they woof at the neighbors, stay before I give them a treat, down when they're blocking my view of the television. They're doing so much daily obedience work it's like they're being homeschooled.
So, they're still getting exercise, discipline, affection in the right order. I think that if the injury had happened back when I was a clueless and having outrageous behavior and aggression problems, the whole thing would have collapsed into bloody chaos in a matter of days. I'm extremely grateful to Patricia McConnell for her wildly effective positive training methods, and to Cesar Millan for teaching me to be a calm assertive pack leader instead of a shrieking mess. Although, I may be taking this dog pack thing a little too seriously. WOOF! Here comes the UPS Truck!
Posted by skwigg
at 12:56 PM CDT