I tipped over the recliner this morning. I sat on the edge of the seat to take my brace off and realized it would be easier with the foot rest up. I reached back and hit the lever, the foot rest sprang out, and with all the weight on the front of the chair, the whole thing flipped forward and hit the ground. I shrieked. From the basement, my husband yelled, "Are you alright?" Ripley, my supervisor/nursemaid/self-appointed bodyguard came running. I don't know what was going on in her little speckled squirrel mind, probably something along the lines of, "I'LL SAVE YOU, MAMA!" She made a flying leap into my lap. The weight and momentum of the airborne dog flipped the chair upright and it hit the ground with a huge thud. From the basement, my husband yelled, "What the hell was that?" and came running. Of course I couldn't answer him because I was having fits of silent stage laughter and there was a huge stupid dog standing in my lap licking my face like a maniac. Crazy Ripley. It's weird how closely she watches me now. It's like her new job. Every time I wince or gasp she comes running, and she really gets worked up if I tip over the recliner.
Do you know what my morning ritual is now? I get up, do my knee exercises, make breakfast, feed the dogs, take a shower, and all of that takes so long and so totally exhausts me that I then fall asleep in my recliner for two hours in front of Home & Garden Television. EVERY freaking day this happens. My brain cells are disintegrating right along with my leg muscles. I've become totally hooked on Real Housewives of Orange County. I stare glassy-eyed at Trading Spaces, Moving Up, and Flip That House. I yell out answers to 1 vs. 100 and Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader. I'm totally turning into a nutty shut-in.
Did anybody else see I Eat 33,000 Calories a Day on TLC? There's this guy, Larry, who weighs over 700 pounds and hasn't left his apartment in ten years. If friends and relatives don't feed Larry enough, he calls for takeout on his cell phone. Larry can't get up and walk to the door, so he lowers a bucket on a rope out his apartment window. The delivery guy takes the money out of the bucket, puts the fast food in, and Larry reels his late night snack back up to his apartment. How crazy is that? And there was this other bedridden guy who was spending something like $28 a day on candy bars alone. And women who were eating enough food to gain three pounds a day, every day. They all assumed they were only eating 2,000-3,000 calories a day, but when you add everything up it was ten, twenty, thirty thousand calories a day. The whole thing freaked me the hell out, and made me kind of hungry for fried chicken.
Hey! Liz is back! For those of you who loved Granny Vibe, Liz has another blog called As the Tumor Turns. Yesterday, I turned off the television long enough to read every single entry starting from last November. I also fiddled around in my store and added some free e-books for your downloading pleasure. They're both by John Berardi. One Is PN Strategies for Success, which is a 43 page overview of Precision Nutrition, and one is Gourmet Nutrition Desserts, which is another 40 or so pages of healthy high-protein desserts. It's an add-on to Gourmet Nutrition, which is where I originally found such wonderments as S'mores Bars and Chicago Deep Dish Pizza. Bet you didn't know you could eat that stuff and still have abs! JB also posted a good Q&A in his blog about nutrient timing. I used to get a lot of questions about his recommendation to only eat starchy carbs post-workout. I personally eat starchy carbs whenever I feel like it on PN and still have great results. Finally, he explains the phenomenon.
Posted by skwigg
at 10:55 AM CST