I was driving home around midnight last night, listening to my iPod and looking forward to my day off. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw somebody lying halfway on the sidewalk and halfway in a yard. Of course, I'd traveled like two blocks before I fully processed what I had seen. His legs were bent kind of funny. He was wearing shorts. He was older. Glasses. Hat. And here's the kicker, it was starting to rain. There's no reason somebody would be lying there like that unless he was dead or unconscious. So, then I'm like, shit, do I go back? Call 911? I didn't really believe what I had seen. I didn't want to call the police if there was nothing wrong. I didn't think it was a very smart move to get out of my car at night. I couldn't even remember what block he was on if I did call the police. By the time I'd done that much thinking, I was turning into my driveway.
I couldn't decide what to do so I walked in and woke Michael up. He said, "Are you sure he wasn't lying on his back looking at fireworks?" I said, "It's raining." We had a shared look of horror, and then we bolted out the door and jumped into the car like Starsky and Hutch. We went cruising the neighborhood at 20mph looking for a body. I was seriously hoping the guy was gone. He wasn't. He was still lying there all sprawled funny and not moving. As soon as we saw him, we both completely wigged and Michael jumped out of the car! I'm like, "Are you sure you wanna..." and he was already crossing the street and yelling to the guy. Nothing. He touched him and he was ice cold and didn't move. My heart was thumping out of my chest as I fumbled for the cell phone. That's when the "body" sat up and came eyeball to eyeball with long-haired, wild-eyed Michael. I'm surprised they both didn't start screaming. I'm surprised I didn't start screaming. I've seen way too many zombie movies to handle it well when a corpse sits up suddenly.
The guy seemed really confused and disoriented. He tried to stand up and immediately fell back down. He wasn't real clear on where he was or where he lived. I prayed he was drunk; otherwise he was definitely having a stroke. Luckily, he reeked of alcohol. He'd probably been drinking all day and was trying to walk home. He was wearing nice casual clothes and had a little umbrella. He wasn't a street person type at all. He thanked us both profusely, shook Michael's hand, and managed to stumble off down the sidewalk in his shuffling zombie gait. Hopefully, he made it all the way home without stepping in front of a bus or having any more yard naps. Hopefully, he didn't eat anybody.
Holy shit! I'm glad we went back, and I'm SO glad he sat up and scared the crap out of us. Who knows how long he'd been there or how many people had driven past without stopping to see if he was ok. What if he'd had a heart attack on the sidewalk and car after car kept driving by him? Eeeee!!!
Weird! I'm very weirded out. I feel sort of bad that I didn't stop immediately and call 911. If he'd been having a heart attack, waiting that extra few minutes could have killed him. I don't exactly live in Mayberry though. In this neighborhood, you don't get out of your car in the middle of the night and poke at a stranger lying on the sidewalk, not without backup.
It's funny how you can glimpse a motionless body out of the corner of your eye and your logical mind won't accept it. It will tell you, "It's nothing. I'm sure it's nothing. There's gotta be an explanation. Ignore it. It's probably nothing." Meanwhile, your intuition is screaming, AAAAAGH!!! I was trying to remember Gavin DeBecker's messengers of intuition list from The Gift of Fear. These are the tip-offs that your brain cycles through when a person is dangerous or a situation is not right. They are: nagging feelings, persistent thoughts, humor, wonder, anxiety, curiosity, hunches, gut feelings, doubt, hesitation, suspicion, apprehension, fear. Yep, I had every one of those! By the time I got home, I was shaky from the adrenaline rush.
Posted by skwigg
at 1:27 PM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 4 July 2006 3:25 PM CDT
